quotes of Mark Twain; 1175 quotes

"Benefit of clergy: Half-rate on the railroad."

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"I haven't heard anything like that since the orphanage burned down."

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"People are much more willing to lend you books than bookcases."

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"A wise man does not waste so good a commodity as lying for naught."

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"We have not all had the good fortune to be ladies. We have not all been generals, or poets, or statesmen; but when the toast works down to the babies, we stand on common ground."

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"There's always something about your success that displeases even your best friends."

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"By law of periodical repetition, everything which has happened once must happen again and again -- and not capriciously, but at regular periods, and each thing in its own period, not another's and each obeying its own law."

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"Damn the subjunctive. It brings all our writers to shame."

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"Monarchies, aristocracies, and religions are all based upon that large defect in your race -- the individual's distrust of his neighbor, and his desire, for safety's or comfort's sake, to stand well in his neighbor's eye. These institutions will always remain, and always flourish, and always oppress you, affront you, and degrade you, because you will always be and remain slaves of minorities. There was never a country where the majority of the people were in their secret hearts loyal to any of these institutions"

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"It isn't safe to sit in judgment upon another person's illusion when you are not on the inside. While you are thinking it is a dream, he may be knowing it is a planet."

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